Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this world, the amount of people are 8.3 billion. Its increased day by day. For this reason, our job fields are decreased. So in my case, young people should have to save money for their future.

In this era, there are so many young people more than older people. Young generation have a future. Many of them doing hardwork such as study to secure a bright future. But study has not only an option. They will do many thing in their future like business is one of them. Because the population are increasing, so the job market have a limited space for giving job to everyone. For this case, business is one option to them. For this, they should now save money for their future specially young people. If young people saved their money from now, they could investing this money for their business in future.

But many young generation are badly effected into mobile phone. They play online games such as free fire or pubg from dawn-to-dusk. Online game have an option to buy diamonds with real money. So, young people buy these with their own money or top-up with their parents money. They could not save money for future. On other side, many people playing gambling in differents sites. Sometime they win money but most of the time, they lost their money on those sites.

In conclusion, obviously saving money for future is a good habit. But these types of people who top-up diamonds in online game with their own money, should to stop this kind of bad habbits. Parents should give a restrict to their child for using mobile phone. Also government should take a action to ban these gambling website and these kind of online games.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the opening and conclusion: you agree that young people should save, particularly to fund a future business. The discussion of limited job opportunities and spending on games or gambling is relevant, and the examples make your concern understandable. However, the response addresses the statement only partially because it focuses mainly on young people and does not explain whether saving is important for everyone, as the prompt asks. Several points are asserted rather than developed—for example, the link between population growth and fewer jobs, and how savings would help someone establish a business. Explain these connections and add a reason or example about adults or people generally to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs broadly separate reasons to save from examples of unwise spending, so the reader can follow the main direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking phrases are often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, “Because the population are increasing, so the job market…” uses two connectors for one relationship, while “For this case” and “For this” repeat without clearly advancing the argument. The conclusion introduces recommendations about parents and government that have not been developed earlier. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to the claim it supports, and ensure the conclusion summarises the argument rather than adding new points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “job market,” “investing,” “gambling,” and “save money,” which helps communicate the central ideas. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, especially “young people,” “future,” and “money.” Some word choices and collocations are noticeably inaccurate, such as “job fields are decreased,” “secure a bright future,” and “give a restrict,” which can make the intended meaning less clear or sound unnatural. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “hardwork,” “differents,” and “habbits.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing financial planning and employment, and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If young people saved their money from now, they could investing this money…” and clauses beginning with “Because.” These attempts show an effort to explain causes and possible outcomes, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “the amount of people are,” “Its increased,” “Young generation have,” and “the job market have,” where agreement or verb forms are faulty. The conditional also needs a consistent verb pattern: “could invest.” Articles, plurals and sentence construction are often inaccurate. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and conditionals, then proofread each sentence for agreement and verb form.

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