Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The diagram under provide information on the location and kinds of dance classes young community in a society in australia are currently attended. It give us knowledge about the youth who enjoyed in various clubs of australia.
Firstly, It provide us location of club where they enjoy like dance and also assumed that how much place is required for different people of australia So now we talk about how much place is required. Its community halls made a place of 18% of the total place, its school hall contain 24% of it, its college based studio gain space 105 of it and In addition , its private studio have 48% of the total space.Private studio is the one of the most abudent place which required money and also provide facilities to the young ones.
Now we talk about dance classes by the age groups which guide us that all the students of different age groups have different classes such as under 11 use ballet and tap but the students whose age is more than 11 uses modern facilities because they can understand the all fellings and can enjoyed it continously.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to accurately report the data. For instance, you mention '105' for college-based studios, which is not supported by the chart, and you misinterpret the data by discussing 'space required' rather than the percentage of students attending classes at these locations. The second paragraph regarding age groups is vague and fails to provide specific data points or meaningful comparisons between the categories. To improve, you must focus on accurately transcribing the figures provided in the charts and identifying the most significant trends, such as the popularity of private studios compared to other venues.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is weak. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'So now we talk about how much place is required.' The referencing is also unclear, as it is difficult to follow which data point relates to which category. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'consequently') and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'abudent' (likely meaning abundant) and 'fellings' (feelings). You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use precise terminology related to data description. For example, instead of saying 'gain space,' you should use terms like 'account for' or 'represent.' To reach a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary to include more academic collocations and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'It give us,' 'It provide us') and tense usage. Sentence structures are generally simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'the students whose age is more than 11 uses modern facilities because they can understand the all fellings.' You need to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions to improve your overall accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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