Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

Write a letter to your boss. In your letter

  • explain why you want to reduce your working hours
  • say which hours you would like to work
  • describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter inform you I want to join as part time because recently I opt a part time diploma in management from punjabi university patiala.

According to subject, I have to two semester in one year diploma. My classes will start form first week of next month .I have to attend classes between 9 am to 2pm. Hence, I will busy on that specific time .

On the evening time, I am totally free from this hectic schedule. So I would prefer Evening shift in your renowned company for further year.I am really comfortable to choose 3pm to 9 pm working hours. Furthermore, this one year diploma is not only useful for me to improve my management but also good for productivity of your company . Apart from this , this diploma is fruitful for my promotion. I will really appreciate your positive response if you adjust me according to my choice.

I am looking forward your prompt response,

Your faithfully,

Manjot

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt: explaining the reason for the request, specifying the desired hours, and describing the benefits to the employer. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a boss. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention the diploma will improve productivity, you could have provided a more specific example of how the management skills learned would be applied in your current role to better persuade your employer. The letter is clear and the purpose is well-defined throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical progression, moving from the request to the schedule and finally to the benefits. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Apart from this', and 'Hence' to link your ideas. However, the paragraphing is not fully developed; the entire body of the letter is presented as one block of text, which makes it harder to read. Using distinct paragraphs for the request, the schedule, and the benefits would significantly improve the structure and flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, such as 'renowned company', 'hectic schedule', and 'fruitful'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'I want to join as part time' (should be 'switch to part-time work') and 'I opt a part time diploma' (should be 'I have enrolled in'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your expression. Expanding your vocabulary to include more formal business collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'I am writing this letter inform you' (missing 'to'), 'I have to two semester' (should be 'two semesters'), and 'I will busy on that specific time' (missing 'be'). Additionally, there are punctuation and article errors, such as 'form first week' instead of 'from the first week'. While these errors are noticeable, the meaning remains clear to the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and basic sentence construction will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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