Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

Write a letter to your boss. In your letter

• explain why you want to reduce your working hours
• say which hours you would like to work
• describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I would like to bring to your attention about my intentions of returning to school to study bakery. I am delighted that after a constructive debate with my parents, they have agreed to enroll me to the University of Bakery. Having said that, I will be grateful if you could authorize my request to reduce my working hours.

Being mindful of the busy schedule we are currently encountering; I am happy to reduce my working hours on off peak shifts. This will ensure the store still operates at its potential without any labour strains.

As you are aware, I handle the bakery department, and I believe my bakery studies will greatly improve my productivity to enhance and introduce new savory flavours and dishes which will lead to the expansion the stores foot flow.

I thank you for considering my request and look forward for your approval.

Yours Sincerely,

Jack Mil

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points of the prompt: explaining the reason for the request, specifying the desired hours, and describing the benefits to the employer. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a boss. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, you mention 'off peak shifts' but do not specify exactly which days or times you are proposing, which makes the request less practical. Additionally, the mention of a 'constructive debate with my parents' is slightly informal and irrelevant for a professional request; focusing more on your professional commitment would have strengthened the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different requirements of the task. You use some cohesive devices like 'Having said that' and 'As you are aware' to connect your ideas. However, the transition between the personal motivation (parents) and the professional request is a bit abrupt. The flow is generally easy to follow, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to improve the overall sophistication of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'authorize', 'productivity', and 'potential'. There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'stores foot flow' (likely meaning 'footfall') and 'labour strains'. The phrase 'debate with my parents' is also slightly awkward in this professional context. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Expanding your use of professional collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'bring to your attention about my intentions' (should be 'bring to your attention my intention') and 'look forward for your approval' (should be 'look forward to your approval'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there is a misplaced semicolon after 'encountering'. Despite these errors, the meaning is always clear, and the errors do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more error-free complex sentences and refine your preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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