Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

Write a letter to your boss. In your letter

• explain why you want to reduce your working hours
• say which hours you would like to work
• describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is evident that taking photographs at renowned places without considering the actual spot is becoming increasingly prevalent among many people in this modern world .This essay will examine the principal causes associated with this trend and its pessimistic repercussions in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, the growing popularity of social media platforms is one of the significant reason of this phenomenon.To elaborate it , many individuals visits the well - known tourist attractions with the solo intention of taking pictures to upload on online websites to secure more likes , comments and follower list . Therefore , their main aim is to upgrade their social status .Moreover, the widespread use of smartphones is the another factor contributing to this shift.Having high -quality device assist individuals in collecting pictures conveniently and instantly. As a result , their main focus is on capturing and uploading photos on internet rather than focusing on actual place they are visiting.

However, I believe this is a negative development because it obscure people from gaining knowledge about the history and culture of the landmark they visit. Instead of exploring the actual spot and its panoramic views masses are more concerned in taking selfies and creating attractive posts for social media accounts.Aggravating this pattern , it creates hurdles for those who actually come to spend the quality time at that particular spot.To exemplify , there are some people who still visits to learn about the place and love to enjoy the views but they are hindered by the avid photographers as they are always busy in capturing everything into camera so they block the ways for others which sometimes seems frustrating.Consequently , it reduces the overall value of travelling.

To conclude, the popularity of social media and modern technology has made people increasingly interested in photographing themselves at tourist attractions. Nevertheless, I consider this a negative tendency as it may prevent them from fully experiencing and appreciating these destinations

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0

The response is completely off-topic. The task required a formal letter to a boss requesting a reduction in working hours to study part-time. Instead, the student wrote an essay about the trend of taking photographs at tourist attractions. Because the response fails to address any of the bullet points or the purpose of the letter, it does not fulfill the requirements of the task. In an actual IELTS examination, this would be treated as a memorized or irrelevant response, resulting in a very low score for Task Achievement as the prompt was ignored entirely.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

Despite being off-topic, the text itself is organized into logical paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas, and cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'To conclude' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. While the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the structural integrity of the essay demonstrates a level of coherence that would be higher if the topic were appropriate. The use of paragraphing is sufficient and logical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prevalent', 'repercussions', 'phenomenon', and 'panoramic views'. There are some minor errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'the another factor' (should be 'another factor') and 'obscure people from gaining' (should be 'prevent people from gaining'). However, the vocabulary is generally sufficient to convey meaning clearly. The range is enough to discuss the topic of tourism and social media effectively, even though the topic itself is incorrect for the given prompt.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'many individuals visits' (subject-verb agreement), 'is the another factor' (article usage), and 'still visits to learn' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with frequent spacing errors before commas and periods. While these errors are noticeable, they do not generally impede communication. The student shows an attempt at complex structures, but the frequency of minor grammatical slips prevents a higher score.

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