Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

Write a letter to your boss. In your letter

• explain why you want to reduce your working hours
• say which hours you would like to work
• describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear sir,

I am writing to you because I would like to lessen my working hours at Burger King Restaurant in order to enable me to study part time at Scotland university.

I was recently offered a non-conditional offer admission at Scotland University to study Accounting in the Business Administration Department and the duration of the course is 6 years and I concluded that I can not keep working for 18 hours at the restaurant and also study part time in the university. The consequences of me working for 18 hours and attending my part-time course would affect my academic performance and my attendance in the restaurant, because I wouldn’t want to miss my class neither would I want to miss my shifts.

I would love to work for 14 hours in a week, instead of my usual 18 hours, this is to assist me in balancing my academic life and job, this hours would be convenient for me.

Lastly, I can also be of great help and importance in the business once I graduate from the Department of Business Administration from university of Scotland, I can offer numerous accounting services such as Book Keeping, Balancing of sheet and taking inventories of day to day stock of the business.

I hope to you assist me in reducing my working hours.

Yours faithfully,

Adesoye Kofoworola Ayomide

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully addressed all three bullet points in the prompt. You clearly explained the reason for your request (university studies), specified the desired hours (14 hours per week), and outlined the future benefits to your employer (accounting services). The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. To improve, ensure that the connection between your studies and the employer's benefit is more immediate; while your long-term plan is good, mentioning how the study might help you manage your current role more efficiently would strengthen the argument. Overall, the task is fully addressed with a clear purpose throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the task. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Lastly' and 'because', to link ideas. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Some sentences are slightly repetitive in structure, which makes the flow feel a bit mechanical at times. Using a wider variety of linking words or phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition to this') would help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'non-conditional offer', 'academic performance', and 'inventories'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'lessen my working hours' (reduce is more natural), 'Balancing of sheet' (balance sheets), and 'I hope to you assist me' (I hope you will assist me). While these errors do not impede communication, they show a need for more precise vocabulary usage. Expanding your range to include more professional collocations would help you reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'I would not want to miss my class neither would I want to miss my shifts' (which requires 'either' or a different structure) and 'this hours would be convenient' (should be 'these hours'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and comma splices, particularly in the second paragraph. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of determiners. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring accuracy will help you achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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