Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

Write a letter to your boss. In your letter

• explain why you want to reduce your working hours
• say which hours you would like to work
• describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the temporary epoch, there is an argument over the issue that, there is no fleck of doubt over the issue that, I want reduce some working hours, because I want earn some money for my own particular expense, like my education fee my food expense and for my own expense, and I would like for my work in less education time, like 2pm to 9pm , because I am free from in these hours, so in these hours, I can good focus at work, similarly I can get a good benefit to my employer, because every employer want have keep a good hope for own employee, that he do for good work, therefore every student have want do good work, and he want earn a good money from there, because these hours and time are very important for him, If student have no extra money, so this money are very important for him.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, but the development of ideas is weak and repetitive. While you explain why you want to reduce hours (to pay for education and expenses) and suggest a time frame (2pm to 9pm), the explanation of how your studies benefit the employer is vague and lacks professional focus. The content is overly focused on your personal financial needs rather than the professional value you bring to the company. To improve, ensure your arguments are more relevant to the employer's perspective and provide specific, logical reasons for your request.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The letter lacks clear paragraphing, which is essential for a formal letter. The text is written as one long, run-on sentence structure, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a lack of appropriate cohesive devices; instead, the text relies on repetitive use of 'because' and 'so'. To achieve a higher score, you must organize your letter into distinct paragraphs: one for the introduction and request, one for the hours, one for the benefits, and a closing. Using transition words like 'furthermore' or 'consequently' would also improve the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'fleck of doubt' and 'temporary epoch' are used incorrectly or inappropriately for a formal letter to a boss. There is also significant repetition of basic words such as 'work', 'money', and 'good'. Many word choices are unnatural, such as 'have keep a good hope'. You need to expand your vocabulary to include more professional, business-appropriate terminology and focus on using words in their correct collocations to convey your message clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is highly problematic, with frequent errors that often impede communication. There is a lack of control over basic sentence structure, resulting in run-on sentences and comma splices. Subject-verb agreement is frequently incorrect (e.g., 'every employer want have keep', 'this money are'). There is almost no use of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering simple sentence construction first, ensuring each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and then work on connecting ideas using subordinating conjunctions correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.