Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time.

Write a letter to your boss. In your letter

• explain why you want to reduce your working hours
• say which hours you would like to work
• describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Mr. Ross

hope you are doing good.i am writing this letter to let you know about my recent admission in university of calgary, i am very excited and i got schlorship thay is partially funded so i have to support my self also.

i am working in one of your general stores that is in churchil street 1, for about 6 months and i am working their as a helper and i am working about 18 to 20 hours for day. and i am hoping to finish my study so that i can be a manager in future to gave by best.

so due to my enrollement in university , i would be reducing my working hours to 12 hours per day. so that i can support my studies as well as gain experience in my part time job.

regards

mehr

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant reason for requesting reduced hours: you have been admitted to university and received only partial scholarship funding. You also propose a schedule of 12 hours per day and mention a future goal of becoming a manager. However, the request is not fully addressed: the task asks which hours you would like to work, but you give a daily total rather than specific days or start and finish times. Most importantly, you do not explain how your studies would benefit your employer; saying you hope to become a manager does not describe a benefit to the store. The letter is also 8 words below the required minimum. Add a clear employer benefit and develop the proposed schedule to cover all parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable sequence: you introduce your university admission, describe your current job, and then make a request. This gives the reader a basic sense of the purpose. However, the ideas are crowded into a few long paragraphs, and the repeated use of “and” and “so” makes the progression feel mechanical. The shift from your current hours to the request is understandable, but the relationship between studying, supporting yourself, and working fewer hours could be explained more clearly. Use separate paragraphs for your reason, proposed schedule, and benefit to the employer, with linking phrases such as “As a result” or “In return” to make the connections explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “admission,” “partially funded,” “working hours,” and “experience.” These choices help communicate the main context. However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make the letter less clear, such as “schlorship,” “thay,” “their” for “there,” and “enrollement.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “doing good” and “gave by best.” Aim for accurate, professional expressions suited to writing to a manager, such as “I hope you are well,” “reduce my hours,” and “perform to the best of my ability.” Proofreading spelling and collocations would make your meaning easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the main points using simple sentences and some attempts to connect clauses, for example, “I am writing this letter to let you know about my recent admission…” and “so that I can support my studies.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently. Examples include missing sentence openings and capitalisation in “hope you are doing good.i am writing,” inconsistent verb forms in “so that i can be a manager in future to gave,” and unclear phrasing in “i am working about 18 to 20 hours for day.” Punctuation is also often missing or misplaced. Practise complete sentences, consistent verb forms, and clear punctuation, especially when joining reasons and results.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.