Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place.
Why do you think this is happening?
Is it a positive or a negative trend?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
People believe that governments should invest more money in protecting the environment, while other think that improving healthcare should be the top priority. investing in environment is important for upcoming generation and funding in the healthcare system is important for our country's population. We discuss both views in the following essay.
On the one hand, many people believe that protecting the environment should be prioritised because it directly affects to both present and future generation. Growing more plants is increase the oxygen level in the air, its helps to people breathe more comfortably. Investing more in environment is helping in changing climates. By planting more trees improves the greenery everywhere. For example, many of the countries uses electrical vehicles instead of petrol and diesel cars. It helps to reduce the pollution and save many people from harmful diseases. Moreover, it is very important for people longer life to funding in environment.
On the other hand, other argue that healthcare should be give greater importance because human life is the foundation of every successful society. investing in latest equipment, trained Docters improves the medical system of society. It is very easy for hospitals to diagnose patients and know about the diseases quickly by latest x-ray machines. Furthermore, it is helpful for patient to get quick treatment by investing more in new staff of medical healthcare.
In conclusion while protecting the environment is essential for ensuring a sustainable future, improving health care are more significant because it not only safeguard people live, also produce more productive assets for upcoming generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about people visiting famous places to take photographs without looking at the location, yet the essay discusses whether governments should invest in the environment or healthcare. Because the student failed to address the task prompt entirely, this criterion is severely impacted. While the essay follows a standard structure for a discursive task, the content does not relate to the question provided. To improve, it is essential to read the prompt carefully and ensure that the ideas generated directly answer the specific question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used to signal the structure. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression of ideas is disconnected from the task requirements. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the flow between sentences is generally clear, even though the subject matter is incorrect. To improve, focus on ensuring that the topic sentences of each paragraph directly support the central argument related to the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'funding in environment' instead of 'funding for the environment' and 'Docters' (spelling error). The range of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, relying on simple terms. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more precise, topic-specific vocabulary and ensure correct word forms and collocations. Expanding your range to include less common lexical items would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'protecting the environment should be prioritised because it directly affects to both present and future generation' (incorrect preposition and singular/plural agreement) and 'improving health care are more significant' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with sentence construction. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for basic spelling errors like 'Docters'.
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