Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place.
Why do you think this is happening?
Is it a positive or a negative trend?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Employers sometimes ask people applying for a job for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single.
Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often argued by the number of people that employers should not be allowed to ask for personal information about employees while applying for a job; however, few people disagree with this statement. In this passage we will discuss both views and then discuss my own opinion.
On the one hand, some people think that the collecting of personal information of an employee is relevant and useful while applying for a particular job. One of the major benefits is that it provides a background check of an employee and can be selected on the basis of the requirements of the role. In this modern era with developing technology, it is very convenient to provide false information and mislead people; therefore, the worker selection process can be solely based on the criteria of the job. For instance, one baby product selling company hired some employees on one condition: whoever applied for this job needed to be a parent. Thus, it will be highly beneficial for the organisation if their new employee has related experience. And this could only be done if people provide their personal information in their resume while applying for their job.
On the other hand, some folks suggest that it is not productive to provide personal information to the employers. Firstly, it disturbs the mental peace of an employee. Some people are very introverted, and they don't like to share their personal lives. For example, in an organisation, if any kind of personal information can be leaked, then it would be a difficulty for an employee to work in that place. This will affect the overall wellbeing of a person.
In my opinion, it is understandable that employee information is an asset for the company however keeping it confidential is also a
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt provided to you asked about people visiting well-known places to take photographs, but you wrote an essay about employers asking for personal information during job applications. Because you did not address the task question at all, it is impossible to award a score for task achievement based on the prompt provided. In an actual IELTS exam, this would result in a score of 0 for Task Response as the content is irrelevant to the instructions. Please ensure you carefully read the specific question provided before beginning your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
Despite the off-topic content, the essay demonstrates a clear structure. You use paragraphing effectively to separate the introduction, the two sides of the argument, and the start of a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Firstly', and 'For instance' are used correctly to guide the reader through your points. However, the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence, which disrupts the overall flow and coherence of the final paragraph. To improve, ensure you complete your thoughts and use a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. You use terms like 'background check', 'modern era', 'introverted', and 'confidential' appropriately. There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'the collecting of personal information' (better: 'the collection of personal data') and 'it would be a difficulty for an employee' (better: 'it would be difficult for an employee'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher band scores. Focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You show a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'It is often argued by the number of people' (which is unnatural; 'It is often argued by many' would be better) and 'the worker selection process can be solely based on the criteria of the job'. Punctuation is generally handled well, though the incomplete final sentence is a significant issue. You have good control over basic grammar, but you need to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and refine your phrasing to sound more natural and precise.
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