Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place.
Why do you think this is happening?
Is it a positive or a negative trend?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In many urban areas, long working hours and excessively busy lifestyles enabling individuals to provide their quality time with their family members. This situation leads to deterioration family relationship and unhealthy lifestyle; however, this can be mitigated by working in a flexible schedule and performing some physical exercises.
The main problem of this situation is weaken family relation. When people are spending their whole day at workplace and even continue after coming to home, they cannot give enough time to their spouse and children, consequently making their relationship weak and creating unnecessarily boundaries in between them. For instance, workers who are working with 'Amazon' pressurized by their employers that they have to work over-time during peak seasons regardless of anything. Another problem is increasing health issues. While working in longer shifts, employees have not get enough time to prepare their meals, by which they highly preferred to eat outside unhealthy meals. Consequently, working for long hours affect adversely on human's lives in order to weak their family bonds and make them to follow unhealthy lifestyle.
These problems can be alleviated by carrying out work in flexible shifts. If employers offer flexible working hours, opportunity to work remotely, reasonable restrictions on work over-time, enabling employees to give their quality time to their family. For example, Canadian tire offers flexible schedule to their workers, which increase their
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about the trend of people visiting well-known places to take photographs without engaging with the location. However, your essay discusses the impact of long working hours on family relationships and health. Because you did not address the specific topic provided, the task achievement is severely compromised. Furthermore, the essay is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the score. To improve, ensure you carefully read the prompt and brainstorm ideas directly related to the specific question asked before beginning your draft.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'consequently' and 'for instance'. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression is undermined. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is mechanical, and the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence, which disrupts the overall flow and coherence of the piece. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph develops a single, clear idea that directly supports your main argument regarding the prompt's topic.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for basic communication, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several awkward collocations, such as 'provide their quality time' and 'unnecessarily boundaries'. You also rely on repetitive phrasing. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary related to work-life balance, it does not help the essay as the topic itself is incorrect. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using a wider variety of synonyms to express your ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'deterioration family relationship' (missing preposition/possessive), 'employees have not get enough time' (incorrect verb tense), and 'make them to follow' (incorrect verb pattern). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb forms after modal verbs or causative verbs. Proofreading your work for basic sentence structure errors will help increase your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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