Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children.
Is this a good way of providing work for others?
Should people do these things themselves?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Disappearing cultural practices and traditional values have become a pressing issue globally, due to adapting advancement of technology becoming increasingly common. This phenomenon is primarily driven by follow western culture and to migrate from another country, but it can be mitigated through targeted solutions at individual and systematic levels, which will be elaborated in the subsequent paragraphs.
One major reason for disappearing own culture and traditional values is to adapt western culture. This is largely because of competition between the status of people. For example, changing the way of living and wearing outfits makes them different from other persons. Additionally, moving from own origin country to another country also impact to forget their culture and adapt the way of living according to country culture. It means that people wants to change themselves to show their high status in front of another persons. As a result , they are lacking behind their own rituals, and getting involved in another countries tradition.
Addressing this issue requires a multifaceted approach. Government should organise events related to the history of their country that teaches the moral value about it. Another one is to make it compulsory subjects in schools related to culture and traditional to teach children that how important it is. Government should announce such kind of competition that motivates people to take part in it. There should be special winning price for the winner to encourage them to win that challenge.
In conclusion, the disappearing traditional culture arises from follow western culture and from migration. However, it can be addressed through organising events, teaching in schools and through competition. By taking collective actions, societies can significantly reduce this problem and moves towards a more positive future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks about the ethics and implications of paying others to perform household chores or childcare. However, your essay discusses the loss of cultural values and the impact of Westernization and migration. Because you have failed to address the specific task instructions provided, the response cannot be assessed as a successful attempt at the prompt. To improve, you must carefully analyze the prompt's core question—in this case, the outsourcing of domestic labor—before beginning your draft. Ensure your ideas directly answer the specific questions asked rather than writing a pre-prepared essay on a different subject.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'One major reason,' 'Additionally,' and 'In conclusion.' However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression of ideas does not support a task-based argument. The transitions are somewhat mechanical, and the lack of thematic relevance makes the overall structure ineffective. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph directly supports the central thesis related to the specific prompt provided.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'way of living,' 'another country,' and 'high status.' There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'lacking behind' (should be 'lagging behind') and 'winning price' (should be 'prize'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and focus on correct collocations, such as 'cultural erosion' instead of 'disappearing own culture.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'due to adapting advancement of technology' (awkward phrasing), 'impact to forget' (should be 'impacts the tendency to forget'), and 'people wants' (subject-verb agreement error). While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often structurally flawed. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound before attempting more complex forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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