Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr. Patel,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to address my concern regarding my current position. I would like to explain my situation and request your assistance for this matter.

I have been working as a sales person at this company for two years. As much as I enjoy working at a sales department, it is important to take a step forward for my career development. I have learned all the insights and now I wish to work at the production department. From my experience, I know what kind of things clients want and things they wish to be more useful rather than current ones.

I can provide my expertise to the prouction department and enhance the product's outcome. This will be ultimately beneficial for company's overall growth.

I really donot want to leave this compay. This job has provided me an opportunity to work in the field.I have made so many new friends and I want to maintain my relationship with them.

I really apprecite your trust in me and my work.I hope you will look into this matter and provide necessary action to this situation.

Yours faithfully,

Shivani Panchal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points and maintain a polite, appropriate tone. You explain that your sales role has taught you about clients’ needs, propose moving to production, and give personal reasons for staying with the company. The link between your customer knowledge and improving products is relevant, but the benefit to the company is asserted rather than developed: explain how this knowledge could guide product design or reduce the gap between products and customer expectations. The reason for remaining is also mainly personal—your friendships and the opportunity the job provided—so add a professional reason, such as valuing the company’s culture or wanting to grow within it. The request is clear, though a more direct statement of the transfer you seek would strengthen the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall progression: you introduce your request, describe your experience and proposed move, explain why you want to stay, and close politely. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and links such as “As much as” and “This will be” make the relationship between ideas understandable. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some flexibility in linking ideas. However, the opening repeats its purpose with “address my concern” and “explain my situation and request your assistance,” before the specific request appears. Some transitions are also abrupt, particularly the move from your customer knowledge to the company’s overall growth. State the request earlier and connect each paragraph’s ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a suitable range of workplace and formal-letter vocabulary, including “career development,” “expertise,” “production department,” and “overall growth.” These choices make your purpose understandable, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “all the insights,” “provide your assistance for this matter,” and “enhance the product’s outcome.” Spelling errors in “prouction,” “compay,” “donot,” and “apprecite” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for precise, natural phrases and proofread carefully; for example, describe what you learned about customer preferences and how that knowledge could improve product development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and more developed structures, including “As much as I enjoy working at a sales department, it is important to take a step forward for my career development.” Most of the message remains understandable, and you attempt to connect ideas within sentences. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “I have learned all the insights,” the article and noun construction are not well formed; “at a sales department” and “at the production department” also need more accurate article use. There are punctuation and spacing problems, such as “field.I” and “work.I,” and the sentence beginning “From my experience” is awkwardly constructed. Review articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, while continuing to practise varied sentence patterns.

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