Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Mr Amanda,

I am writing this to request a promotion from the post of Junior clerk to Senior clerk at your company as I feel it is the time to excel in different department.

I have started working with you as a junior clerk two years ago and by remaining in the company I have learned some extra skills like programming and networking. I believe these skills are required to be a good senior clerk.

I would like to make a suggestion regarding my promotion to higher rank. The expertise that I have excelled in will help the company grow in the forseeable future.It will benefit the sales ratio by marketing them at the higher level.

As I have been working here for a couple of years , I have developed a strong relationship with the clients and the workers. Together we work deliberately and with diligence. So I do not wish to leave the company.

I hope you will accept my request.

Yours sinverely

Fareah Aziz

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the three requested points: you mention learning “programming and networking,” propose that these skills could benefit the company, and explain that you value your relationships with clients and colleagues. However, the response only partially fulfils the purpose of the letter. You ask for a “promotion” to Senior Clerk rather than clearly requesting a move to a different department, and the benefit to the company is vague: “It will benefit the sales ratio by marketing them at the higher level” does not explain what you would do in the new department. Develop this point with a specific contribution, and clarify how your current experience prepares you for the transfer. The reason for staying is relevant but could be more fully explained.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable sequence: it states the request, describes skills gained, gives a proposed benefit, and explains why you want to remain. Separate paragraphs help the reader identify these points, and phrases such as “As I have been working here” connect ideas. However, progression is weakened because the opening frames the request as a promotion, while the task is about moving departments. Some links between ideas are unclear, particularly the jump from programming and networking to becoming a Senior Clerk and then to improving the sales ratio. Use clearer transitions to show how your experience supports the proposed transfer, and make each paragraph focus on one fully connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “expertise,” “clients,” “department,” and “diligence,” and the reader can generally understand your intended message. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “career development” and “higher rank.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural in context: “excel in different department,” “sales ratio,” and “marketing them at the higher level” do not clearly express the intended benefit. “Promotion” and “higher rank” also suggest advancement rather than a lateral department transfer. Check spelling and word forms, including “foreseeable” and “sincerely,” and choose precise terms for the department and contribution you have in mind.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some longer structures, for example, “As I have been working here for a couple of years, I have developed a strong relationship…” This shows an attempt to connect ideas through subordinate clauses. However, errors in tense, articles, and sentence construction remain noticeable. In “I have started working with you … two years ago,” the past-time expression calls for a past-tense form; “in different department” needs an article; and “I have learned some extra skills like programming and networking” would be clearer with more accurate phrasing. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops and an unnecessary space before a comma. Review these patterns while retaining your attempts at varied sentence forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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