Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to request you that I want to change my current role in sales department to accountant department in the same kulbhushan company for the career growth. I have learnt valauable experience in customer service and communication skills.

There are multiple reason to change department. one of the main reason is pension plan, which is given in the accounting department. Secondly, an annual increament in salary that I need for family support.

In addition, I want to work with your company for long time as I have good relations with all the team members of company.

I hope you will look into this matter and take a possible action to resolve my concern as soon as possbile.

Yours faithfully,

Simar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make a relevant request to move from sales to accounting and mention experience in customer service and communication, so the reader can identify your purpose. However, the task is only partially addressed: you do not explain what you have learned in enough detail, and the proposed benefits to the company are not established. A pension plan and a salary increase are benefits to you, not reasons the company would gain from transferring you. Your wish to stay is supported only by saying you have good relations with colleagues. The response also falls short of the required 150 words. Develop each bullet point with specific, relevant details, especially how your current skills would help the accounting department.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The letter has a recognisable structure: you state your request, give reasons, explain that you want to remain with the company, and close politely. Paragraph breaks help separate these points, and connectors such as “Secondly” and “In addition” show some awareness of sequencing. However, the progression is not fully clear because the reasons given focus on your personal benefits rather than the company’s benefit, and the link between your sales experience and an accounting role is not explained. The transition “There are multiple reason to change department” also introduces points that do not directly support the task’s requested argument. Organise the body around the three bullet points and use clear links between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “customer service,” “communication skills,” “accounting department,” and “career growth,” which makes the general topic clear. However, the range is limited and several choices or spelling errors reduce precision, such as “valuable experience” where you mean skills or knowledge, “pension plan” as a reason for the company to transfer you, and “possible action” in the closing. Errors such as “valauable,” “increament,” and “possbile” are noticeable. Aim for more precise language that explains your contribution, for example, describing how customer-facing experience could support accurate financial administration. Check spelling and choose collocations that fit the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your message is generally understandable, and you attempt to connect ideas using clauses such as “as I have good relations with all the team members.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur in basic patterns. For example, “request you that I want” is not a correct construction; use “request a transfer” or “ask whether I could transfer.” There are also agreement and article problems in “There are multiple reason” and “one of the main reason,” as well as inconsistent capitalisation after a full stop in “one.” The phrase “change my current role in sales department to accountant department” needs clearer grammatical framing. Practise accurate request forms, plural agreement, and articles, then proofread punctuation and sentence openings.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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