Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Jordan,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to express my interest in transitioning to a different department within the company.

During my two year career in this industry as a Manager of the restaurant I have learned plenty of things which includes, management, communication skills, and patience. Being a manager I handled every situation with a problem solving atitude. I have developed strong teamwork skills. I am deeply greatful for the oppertunities.

However, I feel it is crucial to take step forward in my career and get a chance to work with the head office as a trainer. This gives me oppertunity to work in a different restaurant with different team and train staff with al the skills I have learned. I have an experience in managing a fast- paced food place.

I want to emphasize that i do not wish to leave this chain of industry. I truely value our organizational culture, our core value of making the customer fullfilled.

I would appreciate the oppertunity to discuss this possibility further with you.

Yours sincerely

Shagun

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three required points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe learning management, communication, patience and teamwork; request a move to a trainer role at head office; and explain that you value the company’s culture and customer-focused values. These details make the request relevant and understandable. However, some points are only partly developed. For example, you say the company would benefit because you could train staff using your experience, but you could explain more specifically how this would improve staff performance or support the company. The reason for staying is also brief. Expanding these points with one or two concrete benefits would make the response more fully developed while preserving its clear focus and polite tone.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall progression: it opens with the purpose, describes your experience, presents the proposed move, explains your wish to stay, and closes with a request to discuss it. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and transitions such as “However” and “I want to emphasize” guide the reader. This coherent arrangement meets the task well. To make the flow more polished, connect the experience you gained directly to the proposed training role, rather than leaving the relationship for the reader to infer. Some transitions are also quite formulaic, and the final paragraph could link your commitment to the company more explicitly to the value of moving internally. These refinements would make cohesion more flexible and the progression more seamless.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of workplace vocabulary, including “management,” “teamwork skills,” “head office,” “trainer,” and “organizational culture.” These choices communicate the main ideas and suit a professional letter. There are, however, noticeable spelling and word-choice problems that reduce precision, such as “atitude,” “greatful,” “oppertunity,” “al,” and “truely.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “two year career in this industry” does not clearly express your two years in the current job, while “chain of industry” is not the usual expression for a company. Use accurate spelling and more natural collocations, such as “within the company” and “fast-paced restaurant,” to make your vocabulary more reliable and professional.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both straightforward sentences and some longer structures, such as “This gives me opportunity to work in a different restaurant with different team and train staff…” This shows an attempt to express connected ideas, and the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “During my two year career” needs a plural form, and “with different team” needs an article or plural noun. “This gives me opportunity” also requires an article, while “I have an experience” uses an unnecessary article. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “i do not wish.” Review article use, plural forms, and sentence boundaries, then proofread punctuation and capital letters to improve accuracy while retaining varied sentence patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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