Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request an opportunity to move to a different deparment withing our company. I have been working here as a HR assistent since last two years. Recently, I pursued my masters and now I want to work psychology department.

Firstly, I greatfull about my present job because it gave me a lot of experience during past two years. money managment, recruitment and customer handling. That was a such a valuble chance. In addition, I faced a lot of challenges during company events like organized event with company welfare.

When I move to the psychology department you will give a lot of contribution from me. I already completed my bachelor degree and masters degree. Both are psychology related qualifications and also I have many practical knowledge. I can do something employees development programs base on improve mental well-being and growth. I think my contribution will important company.

In addition, I do not need to leave this company because the company provide lots of benefits, and working environment, team members also very supportive.

I hope you concider my requset and will give a positive respond. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you

Yours faithfully,

sara

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe experience in HR, explain how psychology training could support employee wellbeing, and give reasons for staying with the company. The most persuasive detail is your proposal to contribute to employee development programmes. However, some points are less fully explained. For example, “money management, recruitment and customer handling” lists skills without showing what you learned or how you used them, and the benefits to the company could be linked more directly to your experience. Your reason for remaining is also quite general, focusing on benefits and supportive colleagues. Add one or two specific examples and explain how your qualifications and current knowledge would help the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: you introduce the request, discuss your current role, explain your potential contribution, and give reasons for staying. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these main points, and transitions such as “Firstly” and “In addition” signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, the linking feels mechanical, and some connections are unclear. The list “money management, recruitment and customer handling” is not integrated into a complete explanation, while “When I move to the psychology department you will give a lot of contribution from me” does not clearly connect your move to the company’s benefit. Use more natural transitions and make each paragraph develop one point in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the situation, including “recruitment,” “practical knowledge,” “mental well-being,” and “supportive,” and your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts to use more specific workplace language, particularly in describing employee development. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable, including “deparment,” “assistent,” “valuble,” “concider,” and “respond.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “a lot of contribution from me” and “practical knowledge.” These choices reduce precision and make parts of the letter less professional. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for workplace requests, such as “make a valuable contribution” and “practical experience.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, and the main message can usually be understood. For example, you use a reason clause in “because the company provide lots of benefits” and a time reference in “I have been working here.” However, errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and agreement occur across the letter. “I greatfull about my present job” lacks a correctly formed verb, and “the company provide” needs subject–verb agreement. The fragment “money managment, recruitment and customer handling” should be connected to a complete sentence. There are also awkward constructions such as “I can do something employees development programs.” Practise complete sentences and check verb forms and agreement when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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