Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Gagan deep singh,

Hope you are doing well, I am writing a letter for change my department because i will notice that i have two years experience as compare new employes who are work in manage department.

To begin with, i gain alot of experience like how to keep records ,manage transaction , manage every employes salary account so thats why because i listen in department face many issue of recording department account .

Apart from this , if you are move me to manage department i help you and yur team also because I know you to much workload as well as you faces different type of problems with new employs .if i join this department i will gave traning to new workers.In addition to this we make perfect team either do work early or annage new customers.

At last my other friends suggest me to join different company becauae you have 2years experienes but i did not do that .

lastly ,you notice my point .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the main purpose by asking to move to another department, and you include relevant points about your experience, the help you could offer, and your wish to stay with the company. The examples of keeping records and managing salary accounts show what you have learned, while training new workers explains a possible benefit to the company. However, the reasons are only partly developed: the benefit of your experience is not clearly connected to the department’s needs, and the final point says friends advised you to leave without explaining positively why you want to remain. Make your request and reasons clearer, and develop each bullet point with a specific explanation. A more appropriate formal opening and closing would also strengthen the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the request, describes current experience, explains a possible contribution, and ends with the decision to stay. Paragraph breaks and connectors such as “To begin with,” “Apart from this,” and “At last” help signal these stages. However, progression is not always clear, and some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “At last” and “lastly” both introduce concluding ideas, while “if i join this department i will gave traning” combines several points without clear separation. Organise the letter into distinct paragraphs for your learning, the company’s benefit, and your reason for staying. Use fewer, more precise transitions and make references such as “this department” clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant workplace vocabulary, including “keep records,” “transaction,” “salary account,” “workload,” and “new workers,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make parts difficult to understand, such as “manage department,” “ann age new customers,” and “employes.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “I am writing a letter for change my department” and “you notice my point.” Choose precise terms for the department and your responsibilities, and check spelling and collocations. For example, “transfer to the management department” and “support the team by training new staff” would communicate your meaning more naturally and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, but the range is limited and errors are frequent enough to make some relationships unclear. Examples include “I am writing a letter for change my department,” “if you are move me,” and “i will gave traning,” where verb forms and sentence patterns are faulty. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, as in “i have two years experience” and the long sentence beginning “Apart from this.” Use a reliable pattern for the request, such as “I am writing to request a transfer,” and check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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