Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I want to explain my decision that I have made on the behalf of my ongoing job. As I have been working in the same industry since last 2 years and now I also want to proceed with the same company, but I want to move to get promotion in the different department.

Firstly, during my job period I have learnt many skills such as co-operation, co-ordination, time management, positive attitude, communication skills, and many more which helps me to work efficiently.

Moreover, If I get moved to different department, company can receive multiple benefits which would be helful for the company's growth in an appropriate way.

Also, I do not want to leave the company because it provides number of opportunities to work with diversity, and it also provides perks, and vacations every end of the year. Last but not least, company has such employees who have positive attitude, and more experienced.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Lovejeet

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you mention skills gained, propose moving departments, and explain why you want to stay with the company. The reasons for staying—opportunities, benefits and experienced colleagues—are relevant, and your intention to seek a promotion is clear. However, the benefit to the company is only stated generally: “multiple benefits” and “the company’s growth” are not explained. Likewise, the skills list would be more persuasive if you connected particular abilities, such as communication or time management, to the work you could do in the new department. Develop these points with specific examples, and make the request to your manager more direct and professionally framed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall sequence: it introduces your request, describes what you have learned, gives a reason the company could benefit, and explains why you wish to stay. Paragraphing and signposting such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “Also” help the reader follow the main points. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, the transitions are somewhat mechanical, and the ideas within paragraphs are not always linked: the list of skills, for example, is not connected to your proposed move. The sentence beginning “As I have been working…” also combines several ideas awkwardly. Use clearer links between each reason and your request, and vary transitions naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant workplace vocabulary, including “time management,” “communication skills,” “promotion,” and “career development,” so your meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “I hope to hear from you soon.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “on the behalf of my ongoing job,” “proceed with the same company,” and “receive multiple benefits.” “Helplful” is also misspelled, and “positive attitude” is repeated. These issues make the vocabulary less precise and natural, despite the range of ideas you try to express. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations and check spelling; for example, explain specifically how your experience could benefit the department rather than relying on a broad phrase.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the opening sentence with “As” and the conditional “If I get moved to different department.” The main message remains understandable, and you use some appropriate sentence punctuation. However, some grammatical errors reduce accuracy. For example, “since last 2 years” needs a different time expression, and “which helps me” does not agree with the plural skills it refers to. In “If I get moved to different department,” an article is missing, while the opening sentence joins several clauses in an awkward structure. Review articles, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, then aim for a mix of shorter, controlled sentences and more complex ones.

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