Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr Smith,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to request to change my department in the company for my personal and professional growth.

I have being working as a sales executive in this company for 2 years now. I learned about time management, effective communication with clients and providing satisfactory service to customers.

Now, I would like to work as a buyer for our organisation. I believe I can use my skills to make great deals with wholesalers while purchasing the products from them. Later, the sales people can sell these items with competitive prices which can make a considerable profit for the business. Along with the company I will also get a chance to try something new.

By being working in the same place for a couple of years, I have developed strong bonds with my colleagues. This not only makes a place feel warm but also comfortable for working. This is the reason I prefer to change my work department rather than changing the company.

I hope you take this request into consideration.

Yours sincerely,

Suman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose. You explain what you learned as a sales executive, including time management and communication with clients, propose a move to a buyer role, and give a reason for staying with the company by describing your bonds with colleagues. The benefit to the company is also supported: you suggest that better purchasing deals could allow sales staff to offer competitive prices and increase profit. These ideas are relevant and extended, although the business benefit is somewhat general; a specific example of how your sales experience would help you select products or negotiate with suppliers would make the case more persuasive. The tone and closing are suitable for a letter to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The information is organised in a clear sequence: you introduce the request, describe your current learning, explain the proposed role and its benefits, and then give your reason for remaining with the company. Paragraphing helps the reader follow each part of the task, and linking expressions such as “Now,” “Along with,” and “This is the reason” make the progression clear. The overall organisation is effective, though some connections are a little mechanical. For example, “Along with the company I will also get a chance to try something new” shifts from the employer’s benefit to your own without a smooth transition. A more explicit link between your experience in sales and the buyer position would strengthen the progression further.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the purpose, including relevant workplace terms such as “sales executive,” “buyer,” “wholesalers,” and “competitive prices.” Phrases such as “time management,” “effective communication,” and “considerable profit” also help convey your ideas clearly. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or less natural, such as “change my department” and “make great deals with wholesalers.” “By being working” is also an awkward phrase, though the intended meaning remains understandable. Aim for more precise professional expressions, such as “transfer to another department,” “negotiate favourable terms with suppliers,” and “having worked here.” This would make the letter sound more fluent and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, and several sentences communicate your ideas clearly, including “I believe I can use my skills to make great deals…” and the sentence explaining how competitive prices could benefit the business. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “I have being working” should be “I have been working,” while “By being working” needs a different construction, such as “Having worked.” In “the sales people can sell these items with competitive prices,” the preposition should be “at.” The sentence beginning “This not only makes a place feel warm but also comfortable” also needs more parallel structure. Checking verb forms, prepositions, and balanced constructions would improve accuracy.

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