Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Manger,

Greetings for the day! I work as an assistant director in your company for the past two years. Last year, I got promoted to this position on my annual performance and hard work. However, I now decided to move to a different department in the same company at the same exact position.

At the onset, as an assistant I have been working this company and in this span of time, I have learnt so many things about my professional work like handling international meetings, working with clients and how to expand business.

Further, if I move to another department the company will get benefits such as, I can expand our business at international level and also I can communicate in 4 languages which is considered as a win-win situation for our company.

Lastly, I really do not have a wish to leave this company because I gained so much experience in this department which can benefits me in future and also I really want to get further promoted in the same company so I can see this company grow in future.

I hope you will consider this proposal.

Yours faithfully,

Venus

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three bullet points: you describe learning to handle international meetings and clients, explain that your language skills could support international business, and state that you want to develop your career within the company. The purpose is clear, and the proposal is relevant. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The benefit to the company is asserted rather than illustrated—for example, explain how your four languages or client experience would help the new department. Your reason for staying focuses partly on your own promotion and experience, so add a clearer company-focused reason, such as your commitment to its goals. The opening could also identify the manager more appropriately than “Manger.”

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: it opens with your work history, then covers what you have learned, the company’s potential benefit, and your wish to stay. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these points, and signposts such as “Further” and “Lastly” make the sequence easy to follow. Some cohesion is mechanical, however, and the long middle paragraphs combine several ideas without enough separation. “At the onset” does not clearly introduce the learning point, while “Further” and “Lastly” feel like a repeated list structure. Use more natural transitions and make each paragraph focus on one purpose. Clearer links between your experience and the proposed department would also improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of workplace vocabulary, including “assistant director,” “international meetings,” “clients,” “expand business,” and “further promoted.” These choices make your main message understandable and show some ability to discuss professional development. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “Greetings for the day,” “at the same exact position,” and “I do not have a wish to leave.” “Benefits” is also used where the sentence needs a different form in “which can benefits me.” Aim for more natural formal-letter phrasing and precise collocations. For example, describe the move as a “transfer” and explain how your skills could “contribute to” the new department.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more developed sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “if” and “because,” and your meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain. In “I work … for the past two years,” use a present perfect form to connect the period with the present; “I have worked … for the past two years” is appropriate. “I now decided” also needs a tense that reflects your current decision, such as “I have now decided.” There are errors in article use and sentence construction in “I have been working this company,” and the final clause “which can benefits me” has incorrect verb agreement/form. Check verb forms and build each sentence around a clear subject and verb.

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