Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to inform you that I am interested in moving to a different department in the company because there is a new development in my career.

I have been in the customer care representative department for five years and I am grateful for the wonderful experience. I have learnt a lot of things in this department, such as good customer care service and some skills in using the computer for some tasks such as using the photocopy machine and microsoft world for typing.

I want to consider moving to the accounting department which I believe would benefit the company because I just completed my professional training course in accounting. Over the years, the company has been hiring accountants from other organisations which brings about extra costs for our company.

I do not wish to leave the company because I want them to benefit from my new development and also minimise their expenses on hiring accountants from outside the company.

I would be grateful if you could grant my request and I promise not to take the opportunity for granted.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Oluwaseun Bello.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three points and make your request clear: you describe customer-service and computer experience, propose a move to accounting, and explain that you want to remain with the company. The strongest support is your point that hiring accountants externally creates extra costs, which explains a practical benefit of transferring you. However, the learning point is less fully developed: “good customer care service” and using office equipment are listed, but you could explain what abilities you gained, such as resolving complaints or maintaining accurate records. The reason for staying also largely repeats the cost-saving argument rather than adding a personal or professional reason. A more developed explanation of these points would make the letter more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter is organised in a clear sequence: purpose, experience, proposed transfer, reason for staying, and a polite closing. Paragraphing helps the reader distinguish the main points, and links such as “because,” “Over the years,” and “also” make the relationships between ideas understandable. This gives the response a coherent overall progression. To make the organisation more flexible and polished, avoid repeating the same cost-saving idea in both the transfer paragraph and the explanation of why you wish to stay. You could use the final body paragraph to add a distinct reason, then connect it explicitly to your long-term commitment to the company. The opening could also identify the specific department requested sooner.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the purpose and relevant details, including “professional training course,” “accounting department,” and “extra costs.” However, some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “there is a new development in my career,” “good customer care service,” and “my new development.” “Microsoft world” is also an inaccurate product name and spelling; the intended term is Microsoft Word. These choices do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for more specific workplace language and accurate collocations—for example, describe the skills you gained as customer-service or administrative skills, and refer to your accounting qualification or training rather than a “development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and more developed sentence forms, and most sentences communicate their meaning clearly. For example, the sentence beginning “I want to consider moving to the accounting department” combines your request with a reason for the transfer. There are some grammatical and punctuation issues, but they rarely obstruct the message. In “I have been in the customer care representative department,” the phrasing of the department relationship is awkward; a clearer structure would be “I have worked in customer care for five years.” The long sentence about skills also needs clearer punctuation or division into shorter sentences. Continue varying sentence structures while checking that each sentence has a clear, controlled grammatical pattern.

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