Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Mr Smith,

I am writing to express my interest to change my department from labortory to surgery department. I have been working in Metta Animal Hospital in the labortory department from the last two years. I have learned many things during this tenure including blood smear, diagnosing different disease of animals and preparing reports.

Furthermore, I would like to mention some benefits of changing my deparment. Firstly , when I were in the previous company that was My Pet Hospital , I did many minor and major procedures of sugery on animals and consequently , my hands are tarined enough to perform any complex surgery with confidence. In addition to this , I had excellent communication skills so that I could train our veterinary assistants effectively.

Finally , the primary reason of not quitting this platform because it had helped a alot to develop my career and my professional skills. Additionally, I have great mentor here who are helping me to grow perfessionally.

I sincerely believe that you would consider my request and alter my department at the eralist convenience so that I would perform my duties there without any delay . I look forward to hearing from you soon .

Yours sincerely,

Ali Raza

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points and maintain a clear, appropriate purpose: you describe laboratory skills, explain how surgical experience could benefit the hospital, and give reasons for staying with the company. The examples of performing procedures and training veterinary assistants make the proposed transfer relevant. The explanation of what you learned in your current role is also clear, though the benefits to the company and your reasons for remaining could be developed more specifically—for example, by explaining how your skills would meet the surgery department’s needs or how your knowledge of the hospital would support the team. The request is clear, but a more measured closing would strengthen the professional tone. Overall, the task is covered, with some ideas less fully extended than others.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear progression: you introduce the transfer request, describe your current experience, present your suitability for surgery, and explain why you want to stay. Paragraphing helps distinguish these points, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “Firstly,” and “Finally” make the sequence easy to follow. The closing also returns to your request. To make the organisation more natural and flexible, reduce reliance on formulaic transitions and connect related ideas more directly. For instance, the sentence about communication skills could explain how they would help you train assistants in the new department. Some punctuation spacing interrupts the flow, but the overall arrangement remains logical and easy to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the workplace and veterinary context, including “blood smear,” “procedures,” “communication skills,” and “professional skills.” These choices help convey your experience and intentions. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “labortory,” “deparment,” “tarined,” and “perfessionally,” and some phrases are not idiomatic, such as “change my department” and “not quitting this platform.” These inaccuracies reduce precision and make parts of the letter sound less natural, even though the main meaning is generally clear. Aim to check spelling carefully and choose standard professional collocations, such as “transfer to another department” and “remain with the company.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a sentence beginning “when I were in the previous company” and one using “so that.” The overall message is understandable, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “when I were” should be “when I was,” and “I have great mentor here who are helping me” needs agreement and article correction (“I have a great mentor here who is helping me”). The opening phrase “interest to change” also needs a different grammatical pattern, such as “interest in changing.” Review these patterns and use punctuation consistently around introductory phrases. More accurate control of these structures would make the letter smoother and more professional.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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