Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing to express my concerns regarding my career development.

I have been working in the same department for almost two years and during this time I have learned alot. I have not only gain practical experience but also grown personally as well. Moreover, because of the new technologies department is working on like dotnet, java, python and cloud platforms my progaming skills have enhanced alot.

After gaining such practical experience I do not see myself learning more in this department. I would benefit more if I am moved to Artifical intelligence department and would be more beneficial to the company, since I have enrolled myself with machine learning and artificial intelligence courses. Also, my current exposure to latest technologies would also create an impact.

Since I am working in this company fow two years I have created bonds with my fellow co-workers which I think would not be easy to make with any other employer. Time I enjoyed working here is one of the best experience I ever had in my proffessional life. Moreover, technology on which comapany is working is quite latest which I think would help me more in my proffessional career.

Yours faithfully,

Adam Smith

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address all three requested points: you describe skills gained in your current role, propose a move to the artificial intelligence department, and explain why you want to remain with the company. The proposal is relevant and supported by your enrolment in machine-learning and AI courses. However, the company’s benefit is not fully explained: “my current exposure to latest technologies would also create an impact” is vague, so specify how your existing skills and new training could help the department or company. Your reasons for staying focus mainly on colleagues and career opportunities; a clearer statement of commitment to the company would strengthen this part. The purpose is understandable, but the opening refers to “concerns” rather than directly stating your request.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it introduces your purpose, describes your experience, makes the transfer proposal, and then explains why you wish to stay. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Also,” and “Since” make relationships between ideas visible. This gives the response a coherent progression. Some connections are less smooth, however: the sentence beginning “After gaining such practical experience” moves quickly from your learning to the claim that you have little more to learn, without clearly linking that point to the company’s benefit. The final paragraph also repeats the idea of professional development. More precise links and a concise closing request would make the organisation feel more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant workplace and technology vocabulary, including “practical experience,” “career development,” “machine learning,” and “cloud platforms,” which helps communicate the subject clearly. There is some attempt at more specific language, but several word-choice and spelling problems reduce precision: “create an impact” is vague in this context, while “latest technologies” would be more natural as “the latest technologies.” Errors such as “alot,” “progaming,” “Artifical,” “fow,” “proffessional,” and “comapany” are noticeable. Some phrasing is also repetitive, particularly the repeated references to experience and professional development. Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations when describing the value you could bring to the new department.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “I have not only gain practical experience but also grown personally” and the reason clause beginning “since I have enrolled myself…”. The main message remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “I have not only gain” needs the past participle “gained,” and “because of the new technologies department is working on” needs a possessive or relative construction, such as “the new technologies that the department is working on.” In “I would benefit more if I am moved,” the conditional would be more consistent with “if I were moved.” There are also some article and sentence-boundary issues. Review verb forms and clause construction to make your complex sentences more accurate.

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