Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to kindly request you, that I need to upgrade my department from assistant manager to general manager. I had an extremely amazing experience in my current position. I have learned all the rules and regulation of managing the department under my supervisor and also trained many employees.Moreover, I am fully confidence that I can solely handle the department without supervision.

There are many reasons which can contribute to overall benefits of our company, by promoting my position. Firstly, the company does not have to waste resource and time, by hiring new employee and training them from the scratch.Although I was in a different department, I am aware of all the rules and regulations. Secondly, I am a long term employer and dedicated hard work towards my position for almost 3 years. My loyalty towards the company will always remain the same.

Lastly, I prefer to upgrade my postion for my career rather than leaving the company. I love the work space and team efforts. Moreover, every employee working here, equally participate for the goodwill of the company which makes it better from others.

Thank you for your valuable time and please let me know if you need any additional details. I will kindly wait for your response.

Yours sincerely,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The letter addresses the three requested points: you describe learning departmental rules and training employees, explain that your experience could save the company recruitment and training resources, and state that you value the workplace and team. The request to advance your career is also clear. However, the response does not fully match the situation: it asks to move from assistant manager to general manager rather than requesting a transfer to a different department, and the claim that you have worked for almost three years conflicts with the task’s two-year timeframe. The benefits of your transfer and your reasons for staying are relevant but remain fairly general. Clarify the department you hope to join and develop the benefits with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: it opens with the request, uses separate paragraphs for your experience, the company’s benefits, and your reasons for staying, then closes politely. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” help the reader follow the points, and the progression is easy to understand. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some control of paragraphing. However, the repeated use of explicit transitions makes the links somewhat mechanical, and a few ideas are not smoothly connected—for example, “Although I was in a different department” is unclear in relation to your current role. Use more varied links and make references between ideas more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to a formal workplace letter, including “supervisor,” “training,” “dedicated,” and “loyalty.” These choices communicate your experience and motivation, and the reader can generally understand your meaning. However, several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems limit precision: “upgrade my department” does not clearly express a transfer, “fully confidence” uses the wrong form, and “from the scratch” is not idiomatic. “Extremely amazing” is also an awkward intensifier, while “postion” is misspelled. Aim for accurate, natural workplace expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully; this would make the vocabulary more effective and less distracting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both straightforward statements and attempts at more complex sentences, such as “Although I was in a different department, I am aware of all the rules and regulations.” Most of the message remains understandable, and the letter uses appropriate sentence forms for making a request and giving reasons. However, errors occur in several structures and punctuation patterns. For example, the comma in “request you, that I need” is misplaced, “the company does not have to waste resource and time” has a number-agreement problem, and “every employee … equally participate” has subject–verb disagreement. There are also run-on spacing issues after full stops. Review agreement, articles and sentence boundaries, and proofread each sentence to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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