Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Dr Michael,

I am writing to seek your approval to transfer from Supply Chain department to Sales department because I want to help to meet both our monthly and and yearly targets through my innovative ideas. I have learnt many things in my present role especially price negotiation and creative thinking which I would bring to Sales department.

I will conducting survey to pick the best price for our newly launched products which would lead to an huge profit. Moreover, I have the contact list of various wholesalers who we will partner with when launching our new products.

I have always dream of working for JP Central Investment from my high school days, so leaving the company is a difficult decision for me. I would appreciate if you can notify the senior management team to approve my transfer. If there is need for any documents, please inform me.

I look forward to hearing from you shortly.

Your sincerely,

Kehinde.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three required points and maintains a clear, appropriate purpose: you request a transfer, describe learning price negotiation and creative thinking, and explain your wish to remain with the company. The proposed contribution to Sales is relevant and specific, particularly your plan to research prices and use wholesaler contacts. However, the benefits are not fully explained: for example, clarify how your research would support sales or help achieve targets. The reason for staying is personal—your long-standing wish to work for the company—but could be linked more directly to your commitment to its future. These relevant ideas show good coverage, while some points remain less developed than they could be.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a coherent overall arrangement: the opening states the request, the next paragraph explains potential contributions, and the final paragraph gives your reason for staying and asks for action. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the main points, and connectors such as “Moreover” and “so” make relationships between ideas clear. Some links are less smooth, however: the move from your career motivation to the company’s targets is compressed into the opening sentence, and the final request for approval could be connected more explicitly to the preceding explanation. There is also some repetition of “new products.” More varied referencing and clearer transitions between your experience, proposed benefits, and request would make the progression more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for a professional letter, including relevant terms such as “price negotiation,” “monthly and yearly targets,” “wholesalers,” and “transfer.” These choices communicate your experience and proposal clearly, and “innovative ideas” conveys a positive contribution. Some collocations and expressions are less natural or precise, such as “pick the best price” and “lead to an huge profit”; more conventional business phrasing would strengthen the letter. “Creative thinking” is understandable but broad, so a more specific description of the skill would add precision. Overall, the vocabulary supports the task and includes some ambitious choices, though occasional word-choice and collocation inaccuracies limit the naturalness and flexibility of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The letter includes both simple and more complex sentence forms, such as the opening sentence with a reason clause and “I have always dream of working …, so leaving the company is a difficult decision for me.” Meaning remains clear throughout, but some grammatical errors occur. Examples include “I will conducting” instead of “I will conduct,” “I have always dream” instead of “I have always dreamed,” and “if you can notify” where a more suitable request form is needed. Articles and sentence-level accuracy also need attention in phrases such as “a huge profit.” The repeated “and” in “monthly and and yearly” is a punctuation/editing slip. Checking verb forms, articles, and requests before sending would improve accuracy while preserving your range of sentence structures.

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