Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Jeff,

I am reaching out to formally request your assistance to enroll in the recent listed position of Property Manager at our company portal. As you know that I have been working with this company since 2 years now with clear background and dedication towards my work. Being a part of this company I have adapted numereous skills for instance, socializing, team management, communication, customer service. These help me to build my carrier with positive attitude.

The company can help me for my future as I want this job because I need to process my permanent residency file and this will help me to build my scores

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of the required bullet points. While you mention what you have learned, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is underdeveloped and lacks professional justification. Furthermore, the reason for staying at the company is framed entirely around personal immigration needs rather than professional loyalty or company culture, which is not ideal for a formal business letter. To improve, you must expand on each bullet point with specific examples and ensure the tone remains professional throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter is very brief, making it difficult to establish a clear logical progression. While there is a basic attempt at paragraphing, the transitions between ideas are abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and the overall structure feels disjointed due to the lack of sufficient content. To achieve a higher score, you should use more linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in addition') to connect your sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus that supports the overall purpose of the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is somewhat basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'reaching out' and 'working with this company' are acceptable but lack the professional sophistication expected in a formal request. There are also minor errors such as 'numereous' (spelling) and 'recent listed position' (collocation). To improve, try to incorporate more precise business terminology related to career development and internal mobility. Avoid informal phrasing and focus on using words that accurately describe your professional skills and the value you bring to the organization.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder the flow of the text. For example, 'since 2 years now' should be 'for two years', and 'enroll in the recent listed position' is grammatically awkward. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. There are also issues with punctuation and preposition usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Expanding your range of complex structures will also help demonstrate better control.

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