Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear sir or madam,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I am writing to change my department from marketing to sales. I have

been working in your marketing team from 4-months. At this point, I can effectively

handle the promotion of different types of products and promotions digitally

and in-person market. While working in your company, I got enrolled in an online

Sales person courses where I found myself more confident and willing to continue in this kind of field.

I think moving to sales department will help me to entitle my hidden talent and I

believe that your experienced sales members can help me to foster my skill, which definitely help our company to achieve a large number of sales in future.

All my manager and colleagues are very polite and generous to me so, I know that I am here definitely for a long time.

After carefully thinking about this thing I have decided to pursue and I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Your sincerely

Shubham

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You mentioned your current experience, explained the benefits of your move to the company, and expressed your desire to stay. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit is a bit vague, relying on general statements rather than specific professional contributions. Additionally, there is a factual inconsistency: the prompt states you have been in the job for two years, but you wrote that you have been working there for four months. Accuracy in following prompt details is essential for a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. Paragraphing is present, though the paragraphs are quite short and could be better developed to improve the flow of ideas. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'While' and 'Additionally' (implied), but the transitions between sentences can feel a bit mechanical. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly, ensuring that each paragraph builds upon the previous one in a more sophisticated manner.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message, but it is somewhat basic and occasionally imprecise. Phrases like 'entitle my hidden talent' and 'this kind of field' are not natural collocations. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'Sales person courses' instead of 'sales training' or 'sales courses'. While your meaning is clear, you need to use more precise professional terminology to demonstrate a higher level of lexical control and to sound more convincing in a formal business context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'working in your marketing team from 4-months' (should be 'for four months') and 'All my manager and colleagues are' (should be 'All my managers'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the closing 'Your sincerely' contains a grammatical error ('Yours sincerely'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage.

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