Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing this epistle to let you know that it's been two years I am working here as a junior role of software engineer .

I have learned many skills in my present job role. As the different languages like Java and C++. Although I have knowledge of python as well and I have completed my 3 months certification in this language. Therefore, it would fruitful for me and the organization if you guys shift me to different department where all the projects are made by the help of this new language.

Rather than promoting in this team, I would be thankful to you if you give me a chance to work in the other department. As I noticed on the company's website that new hiring is going on under this particular department. I do not want to leave this organization as I have learned a lot of things from here.

Hope you will understand my situation and give me an opportunity to work here.

Thanks,

Jim Barret

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task: mentioning your current skills, suggesting how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explaining your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is a bit vague, relying on the phrase 'all the projects are made by the help of this new language' without explaining the specific impact on productivity or team efficiency. To improve, try to elaborate on how your specific skills in Python would add value to the new department's current objectives.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate the different points, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the use of 'Therefore' and 'Although' in the second paragraph, which do not always connect the ideas logically. Additionally, the transition between the first and second paragraphs could be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context would help improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Phrases like 'this epistle' are inappropriate for a professional letter; 'epistle' is archaic and usually refers to a religious or literary letter. You also use some informal phrasing, such as 'you guys', which is not suitable for a formal request to a manager. While you successfully use technical terms like 'software engineer' and 'Java', you need to focus on using more professional, business-appropriate collocations to convey your message effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede the clarity of your message. For example, 'it's been two years I am working here' should be 'I have been working here for two years'. You also have issues with sentence structure, such as 'As the different languages like Java and C++', which is a sentence fragment. While you attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement, and ensure that your complex sentences are grammatically complete before attempting more advanced structures.

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