Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Jain,

I am writing this letter regarding the job opportunity in the Marketing Department.

I had been working in the customer service department, since two years and it has been great experience dealing with customers issues and their queries.

Actually, I completed the Marketing Diploma recently, where I learned all the valuable skills require to do marketing for the company, if I get opportunity to be in the Marketing Department I can use of the skill. For example, make websites for the company that we are currently outsource to the marketing companies.

I really admire the working culture of the company, that is why I prefer not to leave company, because of that I never feel stress, so I enjoy work life balance. Furthermore, company situated near my home, so I do not to invest money on transport which definitely good for me because I can avoid sedentary life style.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Guntaj Singh

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You mentioned your experience in customer service, explained the benefits of your transfer to the marketing department, and provided reasons for wanting to stay with the company. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention creating websites as a benefit, explaining how this would specifically save the company money or improve efficiency would have strengthened your argument. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though it could be slightly more professional in its structure and phrasing to better suit a request to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For example' and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'because of that I never feel stress'. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that you use a wider variety of linking words to connect your thoughts more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message, but it is somewhat basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'great experience' and 'valuable skills' are functional but lack sophistication. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'do not to invest money on transport' and 'sedentary life style'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise professional terminology related to business and career development, and ensure that your collocations (words that naturally go together) are accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'I had been working... since two years' (should be 'for two years'), 'skills require to do' (should be 'required to do'), and 'we are currently outsource' (should be 'we currently outsource'). Additionally, there are missing articles and issues with verb tense consistency. While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage.

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