Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter for a request of change of department in the same company.

My name is Dhruvi Jasani working in Client Advisor department since two years. I have gained abundant knowledge in this department like communication, handling customers, problem solving and more.

In recent time, I realized that I have gained much more experience in this field and want to change my department to Personal Banking department. As I have studied about personal banking, I believe my learning will help to boost the company's productivity and will bring positive results.

From my perspective, this is the only company from which I learnt many things in my life and related to my field. Moreover, I feel this job sustainable and secure. In order with, I do not want to leave this company under any circumstances.

Therefore, I would appreciate it if you could promote me in other department. I await your prompt response in this matter.

Yours faithfully,

Dhruvi Jasani

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, explain the benefits of your move to the company, and express your commitment to staying with the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention 'boosting productivity,' you could have provided a more specific example of how your skills in 'handling customers' would translate to the Personal Banking department. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, and the purpose of the communication is clear throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'Therefore,' and 'In recent time' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or unnatural, such as 'In order with,' which is not a standard English phrase. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing between sentences is more precise to avoid repetitive sentence structures.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'abundant knowledge,' 'productivity,' and 'circumstances.' There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'request of change of department' (should be 'request for a change of department') and 'promote me in other department' (should be 'transfer me to another department'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise usage of professional terminology to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The letter uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'working in Client Advisor department since two years' (should be 'I have been working in the Client Advisor department for two years') and 'this is the only company from which I learnt' (should be 'have learnt'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article usage errors throughout. While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, and your meaning remains clear.

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