Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing regarding the position i am working from two years to change it to a different department as now i feel that it is important for my future career achievement.

Since i joined current job with the position general merchandiser in Walmart. I have learnt plenty of things in this department like dealing with customers, merchandising, working on floor as well as backroom, ordering stokes and receiving trucks. However, my education belongs to medical field and i like to persue my further experience in pharmacy department. As all the things are same to run that department. So, that would be easier for me to learn about that part.

Moreover, department is in same company, so it is easy to switch. Otherwise, if i go for another company to get job in my field that will be difficult to get into it. Here, i have gain experience and position. And Walmart gives a lot of benefits to their employees. That's the reason i want to stick to this company only.

I really appreciate if you put my reference to the pharmacy manager. That will be very helpful.

Your's sincerely

Simran

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt: describing your current experience, suggesting benefits for the company, and explaining your desire to remain with the employer. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention your medical background, you could have elaborated more on how your specific skills in the pharmacy department would directly benefit the company's efficiency or patient care. The letter is clear and the purpose is well-defined, meeting the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'That's the reason', which help connect your ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentence structures are slightly disjointed, which occasionally affects the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for this task, using terms like 'merchandising', 'career development', and 'pharmacy department'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'my education belongs to medical field' (should be 'is in the medical field') and 'ordering stokes' (likely 'stock'). Additionally, 'put my reference' is not the standard way to ask for a recommendation or introduction. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'in same company'), and capitalization (e.g., 'i' instead of 'I'). There are also some awkward phrasings, such as 'position i am working from two years to change it'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy of your writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors would significantly improve your score.

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