Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request for a change in my position in order to have a better future. I would prefer to become an Assistant Manager of the store.

I have been working as a Shift Supervisor for last 2 years and I have become proficient in various tasks such as handling rush hours as well as managing the team.

Last month, I completed a course in management where I learned better communication and organization skills. Moreover, I believe these skills will be beneficial for the company's growth.

The primary reason for choosing this company for my future is ambience of the team as well as the facilities company providing to the employees.

It would be appreciated if you look into my request and assist me to get this position.

Thank you for your time and consideration and I will look forward hearing from you back.

Yours faithfully,

Jaskj

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your current experience, explain the benefits of your transfer, and express your commitment to the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat thin. For instance, while you mention the management course, you could have elaborated more on how specific skills from that course would translate to the Assistant Manager role. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening is slightly abrupt. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are expanded with more detail to fully satisfy the reader's expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the prompt, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Moreover' and 'The primary reason', to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions could be smoother. For example, the connection between your current role and your desire for a new position could be better integrated. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a coherent response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proficient', 'ambience', and 'consideration'. There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'request for a change in my position' (better: 'request a change of position') and 'facilities company providing' (missing 'the' and 'that the'). While you attempt to use more formal language, some phrasing remains slightly simplistic. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring articles are used correctly to enhance the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'for last 2 years' (missing 'the'), 'assist me to get' (better: 'assist me in obtaining'), and 'look forward hearing' (should be 'look forward to hearing'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You have a good grasp of basic sentence construction, but you need to pay closer attention to prepositions, articles, and verb patterns to ensure greater accuracy in your formal writing.

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