Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request a change in my position in order to have a better future. I would prefer to become an Assistant Manager of the store.

I have been working as a Shift Supervisor for last 2 years and I have become proficient in various tasks such as handling rush hours as well as managing the team.

Last month, I completed a course in management where I learned better communication and organization skills. Moreover, I believe these skills will be beneficial for the company's growth.

The primary reason for choosing this company for my future is ambience of the team as well as the facilities company provides to the employees.

It would be appreciated if you look into my request and assist me to get this position.

Thank you for your time and consideration and I will look forward to hearing from you back.

Yours faithfully,

Jask

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points in the prompt: what you have learned, how the company benefits, and why you want to stay. However, the development of these ideas is quite brief. For instance, while you mention learning 'communication and organization skills,' explaining how these specifically apply to the Assistant Manager role would have strengthened your argument. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and your purpose is clear from the beginning. To reach a higher band, aim to expand on your points with more specific examples or professional justifications to demonstrate a more thorough engagement with the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter follows a logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific requirement of the prompt. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover' and 'The primary reason' to link your ideas. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is slightly abrupt. The paragraphing is clear, which helps the reader follow your argument. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the flow between sentences is smoother, rather than relying on simple, repetitive structures to connect your thoughts.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your message clearly, such as 'proficient,' 'beneficial,' and 'consideration.' There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'ambience of the team,' which is not the most natural collocation in a business context; 'team culture' or 'work environment' would be more precise. You generally avoid repetition, but the vocabulary remains somewhat functional rather than sophisticated. To improve, focus on using more precise business-related collocations and idiomatic expressions that are appropriate for a formal request letter.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'for last 2 years' (missing 'the') and 'facilities company provides' (missing 'the'). Additionally, 'assist me to get this position' is slightly awkward; 'assist me in obtaining this position' would be more formal. While these errors are present, they do not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, focus on consistent use of articles and prepositions, and try to incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, to show greater control.

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