Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Manager,

I am writing to request a change in my position in order to have a better future. I would prefer to become an Assistant Manager of the store.

I have been working as a Shift Supervisor for last 2 years and I have become proficient in various tasks such as handling rush hours as well as managing the team.

Last month, I completed a course in management where I learned better communication and organization skills. Moreover, I believe these skills will be beneficial for the company's growth.

The primary reason for choosing this company for my future is the ambience as the staff is very cooperative. Additionally, this specific branch provide a plenty benefits to their employees related to health and safety.

It would be appreciated if you can look into my request and take necessary steps. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Jasvir

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly stated your experience as a Shift Supervisor, explained how your new management skills would benefit the company, and provided reasons for wanting to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat brief. For instance, while you mention your management course, explaining exactly how those specific skills would apply to the Assistant Manager role would have strengthened your argument. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, and your purpose is clear from the outset. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is expanded with more specific detail or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' to link your ideas. However, the flow between some sentences feels slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used correctly to separate the different requirements of the task. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the transition between your current role and your future aspirations is smoother. The overall structure is sound and easy to follow, which is a key requirement for this band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proficient', 'ambience', and 'cooperative'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'provide a plenty benefits' (should be 'provides plenty of benefits') and 'change in my position' (could be 'internal transfer'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and variety of less common lexical items that would elevate the response to a higher band. Focusing on collocations and more sophisticated professional terminology will help you improve.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'for last 2 years' (missing 'the') and 'this specific branch provide' (subject-verb agreement error). Despite these errors, your meaning is always clear, and the mistakes do not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, aim for greater accuracy in subject-verb agreement and article usage, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, to demonstrate more control.

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