Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or madem

I am writing this letter regarding changing of my position I have been working in your company for 2 years and I have learned team leading skills which very crucial for the growth of company i also studied about the management of production .

According to me I am highly hardworking and owning technical skills with me I give efforts in role senior team leader I want to work as a assistant manager because I believe that I have ability to handle the critical issues in production process it would be great dicision by management if they hire me as a assistant manager

During my experience I discovered that this company where I am working as a team leader having a stability to boost their income because the management, ceo and the Hr is really supportive on the other hand this company also works on employees growth they held training every year to me this organisation is highly the main reason for earning and saving

Your sincerely

Zayan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter covers all three bullet points required by the prompt: it mentions skills learned, suggests benefits of a transfer, and explains why the writer wishes to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit from the transfer is vague, focusing more on the writer's personal desire for a promotion rather than specific value-add for the new department. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples of how your current skills would translate to the new role and specifically how the company would gain from this move.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is divided into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. There is a lack of linking words between sentences, making the flow feel a bit disjointed. For example, the transition between discussing your current skills and your desire for a new role is abrupt. Using more varied transition signals such as 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in addition to this' would help to create a smoother progression of ideas throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'owning technical skills with me' and 'it would be great dicision'. Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'madem' and 'dicision'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more professional collocations appropriate for a business letter, such as 'professional development' instead of 'growth of company' and 'valuable contribution' instead of 'give efforts'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the growth of company') and incorrect verb forms ('this company... having a stability'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a lack of full stops and commas, which makes some sentences run on and difficult to parse. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring subject-verb agreement, as well as using more varied complex structures like relative clauses or conditional sentences.

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