Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Ronald Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I wrote this letter to seek your attention on very important case I wanted to discuss. Firstly I would to thankyou for giving a huge chance of working in this company. This company has taught me the best skills and importance of work. Apparently I have progressed a lot as you have promoted me to supervisor and gave the "Employer of the year Award".

I would like to request you to change my position from current department to senior level. However, I got some offers from another companies too. I want to prove my loyalty by working in the same companies because all the lessons and respect I have gained in your eyes. I promise my further dedication and hard work towards the growth of this company.

I would really appreciate your attention and approval on this matter.

Thankyou Kindly

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points, though the development is somewhat limited. You mention what you have learned and your desire to stay, but the suggestion regarding how the company would benefit from your move is vague; you simply state you want to move to a 'senior level' without explaining how your skills would add value to a new department. Additionally, the letter is slightly under the 150-word minimum, which impacts the overall development of your ideas. To improve, ensure you provide specific examples of how your current expertise would contribute to the goals of a different department, and expand your sentences to ensure the word count requirement is comfortably met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear opening and closing. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'However' to connect ideas. However, the paragraphing is insufficient; the body of the letter is somewhat cramped, and the transition between your achievements and your request to move could be smoother. The flow of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the lack of paragraph breaks makes the text appear dense. Using more varied linking phrases and ensuring each main idea is contained within its own paragraph would significantly improve the readability and logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your message clearly. You use some relevant professional terms like 'career development' and 'dedication'. However, there are some awkward word choices, such as 'seek your attention on very important case' and 'huge chance'. These phrases sound slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and professional business English. For example, instead of 'huge chance', use 'valuable opportunity'. Expanding your range of vocabulary to include more sophisticated synonyms will help you express your professional intentions with greater clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'I wrote this letter' (should be 'I am writing'), 'I would to thankyou' (missing 'like'), and 'another companies' (should be 'other companies'). These errors occur frequently enough to be noticeable, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To improve, pay closer attention to verb tenses—specifically using the present continuous for current actions—and ensure subject-verb agreement. Proofreading for small errors like missing prepositions or incorrect pluralization will help you achieve a higher level of accuracy.

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