Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Madam,

My aim of writing you this letter is to request for transfer to the medical surgical department of this teaching hospital.

I started working as a nurse in the pediatrics department two years ago but before joining the team , i had being running for my wound care certification which i got recently.

Although working here has provided with unique experiences and skills such as emergency assessment skills and general care of neonate, I feel in line with my latest certification , it would be more beneficial to the medical and surgical department of the hospital since i recently got evidenced based skills to manage series of surgical wounds and would train nurses also since the staff who are knowledgeable in wound care management are very few.

Also i wouldn't want to terminate my contract with the hospital because i believe there would be a million better ways i would be of service to the organization, and I sincerely feel my true potentials cannot be tapped while working in my present unit.

To conclude ,I do look forward to hearing from you regarding this , and i hope to be favorable considered,

Yours Sincerely

Aragba Rebekah.O

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The letter successfully addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state your experience in the pediatrics department, explain the benefits of your transfer regarding wound care management, and express your commitment to the hospital. The tone is appropriate for a formal request to a manager. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are fully expanded; for instance, you could provide a more specific example of how your wound care skills would improve patient outcomes in the surgical unit. Overall, the purpose of the letter is clear and the response is well-focused on the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Also', and 'To conclude' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is generally appropriate, though the indentation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. The referencing is clear, and the reader can easily follow your argument throughout the letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using professional terms like 'medical surgical department', 'emergency assessment', and 'evidence-based skills'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'request for transfer' (should be 'request a transfer') and 'favorable considered' (should be 'favorably considered'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precision. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and ensure that your word forms are grammatically correct in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'i had being running' (should be 'I had been working on') and 'my true potentials cannot be tapped' (should be 'my true potential'). Additionally, there are issues with punctuation, specifically the inconsistent use of spaces before commas and the capitalization of 'i'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding your message. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent punctuation, and try to proofread for small slips in verb tenses.

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