Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to express my interest in the opportunity that our company introduce to hire assistant manager at KFC.

I have been working as a supervisor for two constant years. Therefore, I have experience about all the work regulations of our company. As a supervisor, I know how to handle customers, inventory, complains and run the shift smoothly in rush hours.

I believe that I am going to be perfect fit for this post because I always took my work seriously. Moreover, I showed up at work everytime the company requires my presence and never asked for unnecessary days off.

I really feel blessed with working with such a positive and supportive colleagues. Hence, I would wish to be posted here for several years. I would be thankful to you for considering me as a deserving candidate for promotion. I look forward for your response.

Yours Sincerely,

Chashan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points of the prompt, which is a positive start. You mentioned your experience as a supervisor, suggested how your skills would benefit the company, and explained your desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, when suggesting how the company would benefit from your move, you focus more on your personal work ethic rather than explaining how your specific skills would add value to a new department. To improve, try to provide more concrete examples of how your current experience translates into benefits for a different team. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening is slightly confusing regarding the specific role you are applying for.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Therefore', 'Moreover', and 'Hence' to link your ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is present, but the paragraphs are quite short, which makes the letter feel a bit fragmented. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences flow naturally into one another rather than feeling like a list of separate points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your message clearly. You use some relevant work-related terms like 'supervisor', 'inventory', and 'regulations'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'opportunity that our company introduce to hire' (should be 'introduced to hire') and 'experience about all the work regulations' (should be 'experience with'). You also use 'everytime' as one word, which is a spelling error. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring your word forms are correct. Expanding your range of professional vocabulary will also help you express your ideas with more precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For instance, 'I feel blessed with working with' should be 'I feel blessed to work with', and 'I look forward for your response' should be 'I look forward to your response'. There are also minor issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they do occur frequently enough to impact the overall accuracy. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and common prepositional phrases will help you improve your grammatical control.

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