Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir /Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request you to help me for my career development and shift me in the other suitable department.

My name is Teenu Walia. I am doing a job in Tata company as a website editor since last five years. . I learned so many things from your organization like how to communicate with other, handle the stress, doing some tasks in short notice, team collabortion extra.

I recently completed my master in business administration steam. As, I also checked the internal jobs and applied for HR position. I have huge interest in this field and my education is completely fulfill the requirement. So this will give the good salary package and career growth.

I also get the opportunities of other companies but i do not want to leave this company for good reputation and famous in the country. So please give me the chance where i can proof my self.

I am waiting for your positive response.

With Regards,

Teenu Walia.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt: it mentions skills learned, suggests benefits of a transfer, and explains the desire to stay at the company. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your transfer is quite brief and lacks specific detail regarding how your new MBA skills would add value to the HR department. To improve, ensure that each point is expanded with more depth and professional justification to fully meet the requirements of a formal business letter.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic and occasionally mechanical. For instance, the transition between discussing your current role and your new qualifications could be smoother. Additionally, some sentences feel disconnected, and the use of linking words like 'So' at the start of sentences is a bit informal for a business context. Improving the variety of transition signals (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In addition to this') would help create a more professional flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your message, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'doing a job' instead of 'working', 'steam' instead of 'stream', and 'my education is completely fulfill' instead of 'fulfills'. Phrases like 'give the good salary package' are also slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise professional collocations and ensure that your word forms (nouns, verbs, adjectives) are used accurately in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('my education is... fulfill'), article usage ('the other suitable department'), and punctuation errors. For example, 'I learned so many things... like how to communicate with other' should be 'others'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to impact the overall clarity and professional tone of the letter. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and pluralization.

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