Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing well Sir. As we discussed a month ago in our group team meeting that because of the mistakes in account department owner of the firm want me to join account department. I studied a account so, i am pretty well with the numbers but i was working here for two years as a salesman.

While working as a salesman i am able smoothly to communicate with co-workers and customers. I learned while being the salesman that "more listening is equal to more learning". Same attitude i will utilize as be a accountant of firm.

As i mention earlier that if i start any work i will work with almost hundred percent of accuracy means zero mistakes. As we know right now we are loosing massive amount of money because of accounting mistakes.

As i worked in sales for two years i have a bond with lot of customers and salesmen as well i do not want to leave them but it is part of life. I have to move forward.

Your faithfully

Sagar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the prompt. You explained your current skills, suggested how the company would benefit from your transfer, and expressed your desire to stay with the firm. However, the tone is somewhat informal and inconsistent for a professional letter to a manager. For example, the opening 'I hope you are doing well Sir' and the closing 'Your faithfully' are slightly awkward. To improve, ensure your ideas are developed with a more formal and persuasive tone, as this is a business request. The connection between your current role and the new department is clear, but the explanation of the company's benefit could be more detailed to show professional maturity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your points. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. Phrases like 'As I mention earlier' and 'Same attitude I will utilize' feel a bit repetitive and lack smooth transitions. The logical progression between paragraphs is present, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition'). The paragraphing is sufficient, but the internal structure of the sentences often feels disjointed, which prevents the writing from reaching a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is quite basic and occasionally imprecise. For instance, 'I studied a account' is grammatically incorrect and uses the wrong terminology; 'I have a background in accounting' would be much better. You also use 'loosing' instead of 'losing'. While you manage to convey your meaning, there is a lack of sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary related to professional development or business operations. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'I learned' or 'I will work'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the letter that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'owner of the firm want me' (subject-verb agreement), 'I studied a account' (article usage), and 'As we know right now we are loosing' (punctuation and spelling). You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and your attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors in word order or tense. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and proofreading for common spelling mistakes. Increasing your control over basic sentence construction will significantly improve your score.

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