Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Ma'am,

I hope this letter finds you in excellent health. I am writing this letter to request you to promote me in the company as a senior architect. After handling all the roles and responsibilities as a junior team member, it is highly essential to upgrade me on a higher position.

First and foremost, I would like to present my immense gratification for providing this opportunity to be part of this company until now. In this couple of years, working on several projects like architecture, interior, landscape, urban planning and exposure to field have profoundly deepened my knowledge in our fraternity.

Thus, switching to a senior executive department can be beneficial to company in lot more ways, as I have ability to do multi-tasking at a time. I can meticulously look into Leadership skills, time management, team building and simultaneously taking follow ups by keeping clients and consultants in a loop. Working here has been fruitful to me past these years and I would like to give my contribution in the firm for the next half a decade.

Therefore, kindly look forward to my application and I would be awaiting a positive response from you.

Yours faithfully,

Shona

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all three bullet points, but there is a significant misunderstanding of the task. The prompt asks for a transfer to a different department, but you have written a request for a promotion to a 'senior architect' position. This misinterpretation of the core task requirement limits the effectiveness of your response. While you mention your current learning and why you wish to stay, the focus on promotion rather than a lateral move to a different department means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, ensure you read the prompt carefully to distinguish between a promotion request and a request for a departmental transfer.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost' and 'Therefore' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as the transition between your current skills and the benefits to the company. The use of referencing is generally clear, but some sentences feel disconnected. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next without abrupt shifts in topic.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'meticulously', 'fraternity', and 'gratification'. However, there are some issues with collocation and word choice. For example, 'upgrade me on a higher position' is unnatural; 'promote me to a higher position' would be more accurate. Additionally, 'taking follow ups by keeping clients... in a loop' is informal and slightly imprecise. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you should aim for more natural collocations and precise professional terminology to improve your lexical range and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'beneficial to company in lot more ways' (missing articles) and 'taking follow ups' (incorrect verb usage). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'I would like to give my contribution in the firm for the next half a decade'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.

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