Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Adam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to request my transfer to data analytical apartment from customer service.

My current role have taught me to handle costumer complains by finding solution to their particular problem professionally. Identify costumer's potential demands and interests to help company grow through building strong relation with costumers.

If I got transfer to data analytical apartment it would not only help me to grow but also help company to get multitasking employee. My customer service experience would allow help effectively to analysis current market strategies and demands.

I do not want to leave this company at any cost. I really value relationships and support this company has offered me. I would like to grow along with company. I have made some strong connections with people around me which is hard to escape. I would really appreciate it if you would allow me to move to other department.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours sincerely,

Raman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You clearly stated what you learned in your current role, suggested how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explained your loyalty to the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how your customer service experience would help in the data department is a bit vague. To reach a higher band, try to provide more specific examples of how your skills would translate to the new role.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a closing. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'If I got transfer' and 'I do not want to leave'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea. Some transitions are missing, which makes the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed. Using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in addition') would help improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, and your meaning is generally clear. You use some relevant business-related terms like 'career development', 'market strategies', and 'multitasking'. However, there are some word choice errors, such as 'get multitasking employee' and 'hard to escape', which sound unnatural. There are also minor spelling errors like 'costumer' instead of 'customer'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations used in professional correspondence and ensure you are using the correct terminology for your specific field.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'My current role have taught me' should be 'has taught me', and 'If I got transfer' should be 'If I were transferred'. There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of verb tenses and passive voice constructions.

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