Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Adam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to request my transfer to data analytics apartment from customer service.

My current role has taught me to handle costumer complains by finding solution to their particular problems professionally. I Identify customer's potential demands and interests helps the company grow through building strong relations with customers.

If I am transferred to data analytics apartment it would not only help me to grow but also help company to versatile employee. My customer service experience would allow help effectively to analyze current market strategies and demands.

I do not want to leave this company at any cost. I really value relationships and support the company has offered me. I would like to grow along with company. I have made some strong connections with people around me which is hard to escape. I would really appreciate it if you would allow me to move to other department.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Yours sincerely,

Raman

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned in your current role, explain the benefits of your transfer to the data analytics department, and provide reasons for wanting to stay within the company. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a manager. However, some ideas, such as how the company would benefit from your move, are slightly under-developed. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with specific examples or clearer logical links to show exactly how your skills would add value in the new department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure, with a clear opening, body paragraphs addressing the requirements, and a professional closing. Paragraphing is used to separate the different points effectively. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For example, the transition between sentences in the second paragraph is a bit abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition to this') would improve the flow and help the reader follow your arguments more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'professional', 'market strategies', and 'transfer'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'data analytics apartment' (should be 'department') and 'help company to versatile employee' (which is grammatically and lexically unclear). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on accurate collocations and using more sophisticated professional terminology would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'I Identify customer's potential demands... helps the company' (incorrect sentence structure) and 'allow help effectively to analyze' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly disjointed. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed with correct syntax to avoid ambiguity.

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