Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

How are you? I hope you are doing well! As you know, I am working with this company from 2 years and I really enjoyed to working their but I also want career development. So, that's why I request to you, please move to me in different department in our company. I learned a lot of skills after joining this firm such as good communication, team work, self-motivation and how to solve difficult project in smart way.

But, I have also good coding skill and that is the main reason I want to change my department with coding one. Moreover, If you shift me in coding department you will see my growth in that department and our company grow two times. It is rapid company's sales and targets.

As you know, this is a my first job and I am working with this firm from last 2 year and also I build good relation here. Thus, I do not want to leave this company and this not give me a good salary but also I gain a lot of respect here.

Yours Faithfully,

Raman Sharma

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt: skills learned, benefits to the company, and reasons for staying. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how the company would benefit from your move is vague, relying on general statements like 'our company grow two times' rather than specific professional justifications. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended and supported with concrete details. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, though the opening 'How are you?' is slightly informal for a request to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure of your request. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Thus', and 'As you know' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition between your current skills and the request to move to the coding department is a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus will help improve your score in this area.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to communicate your message, including terms like 'career development', 'self-motivation', and 'department'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'working with this company from 2 years' (should be 'for 2 years') and 'how to solve difficult project in smart way'. These errors occasionally draw attention to the language rather than the message. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word forms are accurate in a professional context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The letter contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include tense usage ('I am working with this company from 2 years'), article usage ('this is a my first job'), and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on mastering basic verb tenses and ensuring consistent use of articles and prepositions in your sentences.

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