Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear sir,

I am Fardin Vahora. I am writting this letter my present job two years ago started in your department but I feel it is important for my career devlopment in my future so, I move to a different department in the same company.

First of all my last two years very important also many useful skill develop in my career and happy for your support.

However many different company benefit from moving you to a different department, my all information to your department to transfer to different department so suggest

Lastly and more important point is this company is very important in my future also many more time my help for in my past experiences. However this company working employees very honest, carefull and hardworking people. This is a main reason I do not wish to leave the company.

Thank You sir please reply my email.

Your faithfully,

Fardin Vahora.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt: mentioning skills learned, suggesting benefits to the company, and explaining the desire to stay. However, the development of these ideas is quite limited and lacks the necessary professional tone. For instance, the explanation of how the company would benefit is vague and grammatically unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logic. To improve, you should expand on specific skills acquired and provide a more concrete, professional justification for the transfer, ensuring the tone is appropriate for a formal request to a manager.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is divided into paragraphs, which is a positive step, but the internal flow is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is minimal and often inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'also' and 'however' to start sentences where they do not logically fit. The transition between ideas is abrupt, and the lack of clear linking words makes the argument feel like a list of separate points rather than a cohesive letter. Improving the use of transition signals like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in addition' would significantly enhance the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express professional intentions clearly. Phrases like 'many useful skill develop' and 'many more time my help' are awkward and hinder communication. There is a lack of professional collocations suitable for a workplace context. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise business terminology, such as 'professional development', 'transferable skills', and 'contribute to the company's objectives', rather than relying on simple, general-purpose words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede meaning. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('I am writting this letter my present job two years ago started'), missing articles, and sentence fragments. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as the run-on sentence in the first paragraph. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and ensuring that each sentence has a clear subject and verb. Proofreading for basic punctuation and tense consistency is essential.

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