Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I hope you are doing great for company, I am writing to request job transfer for my personal growth and career improvement.

Firstly, I am very thankful for the opportunity to work in your company as finance officer. It has been two years i am working efficiently in a team. I have been achieving target goals in finance department with empathy and dedication. I have worked with skilled seniors and learned the expertise to tackle every situation.

From past six months i have been looking for a better opportunities to work in media department. I have five years of experience in media department and i am keen to work devotedly. Nowadays our media team is going through criticism for not completing targets. I assure that i will work overtime with media team for better results.

I have great respect for my boss and team for being supportive in every ups and downs that's why i don't want to leave this company for my personal benefit. This company has been cooperative in staffs financial issues, In addition our boss has been polite regarding my emergency leaves. I would love to work with your company in future.

looking forward for your prompt response.

Yours Sincerely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points of the prompt. You clearly state your experience in the finance department, suggest how your transfer to the media department would benefit the company by helping them meet targets, and explain your loyalty to the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how you would benefit the media team is a bit brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended with specific examples of how your skills would translate to the new role. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though it could be slightly more professional in its phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. You use some basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'That's why'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the use of linking words could be more varied to improve the overall progression of ideas. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the transition between your current finance role and your previous experience in media. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'efficiently', and 'dedication'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices or phrasing, such as 'doing great for company' instead of 'doing well at the company' and 'tackle every situation' which is a bit informal. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, there is a lack of more sophisticated or precise collocations that would elevate the response. Focusing on more formal business terminology would help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in finance department'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'It has been two years i am working'), and punctuation errors, such as the lack of capitalization for 'I' in several places. While these errors do not prevent the message from being understood, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, consistent use of articles, and standard capitalization rules.

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