Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Verma,

I am writing this letter to move to other department for my career growth.

I am harshdeep Kaur, working in shipping department from two years. You know that , I am expert in every job of shipping now . I want to switch to IT department of our company as I gained a lot of knowledge of the data transfers in shipping. You know , I did masters in computer applications and I want to apply my study on the job now.

Yesterday ,I saw a job application of production associate in IT department on lululemon career site, so it is very wonderful opportunity for me. If I got this position, I will apply my best of knowledge and it will be beneficial for the company.

I got many of opportunities like this in many other companies. However, I am interested in lululemon as I am now a senior employee of this company. Additionally, this company gives us very good pay rate and perks.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

yours sincerely,

Harshdeep Kaur.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points: what you have learned, the benefits to the company, and why you wish to stay. However, the development of these points is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention your background in computer applications, you could have elaborated more on how your specific skills in the IT department would directly solve current company problems. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal request, though it occasionally feels a bit informal, such as the phrase 'I am harshdeep Kaur'. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully extended and supported with specific details regarding your professional contributions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your request. You use some basic cohesive devices like 'However' and 'Additionally' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is a bit mechanical. The transition between your current role and the desire to move to IT could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main purpose of your letter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career development', 'beneficial', and 'senior employee'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'move to other department' (should be 'another department') and 'apply my study on the job' (should be 'apply my knowledge to the role'). There are also some minor errors in punctuation and capitalization, such as the spacing before commas and the capitalization of 'IT' and 'Lululemon'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise professional terminology would enhance your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the shipping department'), prepositions ('in shipping department' should be 'in the shipping department'), and verb tenses. For instance, 'I am expert' should be 'I am an expert'. Additionally, there are issues with sentence construction, such as 'I saw a job application of production associate'. These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles in professional writing.

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