Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Dear Rui Camacho,

I am writing this letter to you regarding my career growth as I have been working with our company from couple of years now and I would like to get promotion into the CNC department.

To begin with, I was hired as a machine operator and during my time in the company I have developed many useful skills such as, programming, reading blue prints, setting up the router. Additionally, my supervisor is also confident that I am capable of operating the CNC machine by myself.

However, I have seen the job posting board. The company is hiring for a machinist for this specific machine and I have matched all the requirements mentioned and this promotion will be beneficial for our company. As they can save $2000 of joining bonus as well as paid training for 3 months if they promote me in that department.

Therefore, I will be licensed machinist in two years if I continue working with this company so I do not have any intentions to leave the organization.

I hope you will consider my request for promotion and I look forward to your prompt response.

Kind regards,

Sukhman.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

The letter covers all three bullet points effectively. You clearly state your current skills, explain the company's financial benefit in promoting you, and express your commitment to the organization. The tone is appropriate for a formal business letter. To reach a higher band, ensure that your ideas are fully extended; for instance, while you mention saving the company money, you could briefly elaborate on how your existing knowledge of the company culture would make your transition into the CNC department more efficient than hiring an external candidate. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use transition signals such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', 'However', and 'Therefore' to guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. While the flow is generally good, some of the cohesive devices feel slightly mechanical. To improve, try to vary the way you link sentences by using more sophisticated referencing or by combining ideas more fluidly rather than relying solely on standard transition words at the start of every paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using industry-specific terms like 'machine operator', 'blue prints', and 'CNC machine'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'promotion into' instead of 'promotion to' and 'from couple of years' instead of 'for a couple of years'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. Incorporating more professional collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing would help elevate your score. Overall, the language used is functional and appropriate for the context of a formal request.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'my supervisor is also confident' (which is slightly unnatural; 'my supervisor agrees' or 'is confident' is better) and 'I will be licensed machinist' (missing the article 'a'). Punctuation is generally accurate, though some sentences could be refined for better flow. The errors present do not impede communication, and you show a good grasp of basic sentence construction. To improve, focus on article usage and subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences.

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