Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 19 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

 

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter

• say what you have learned in your present job
• suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
• explain why you do not wish to leave the company

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ....................................,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Manager,

I am writing this email to discuss the importance of my career development to move to different department in your company.

Firstly, we should take into account the importance of multifarious skills, which I learned in my current job position in terms of customer service and more.

Also, if we consider the advantages of my skills in different department, that would be increase the chance of success in the future because I have ability to handle multiple task at one time.

Furthermore, I have a wonderfull experience with this company, so that I want to work here long time because I like the environment of the company and good opportunities to develop my career. On top of that the management services should not be neglected, as it can help the employees in every hard situation.

I hope you can understand and let me know if you need any documentation for the other department.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your Faithfully,

Veerpal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The letter addresses all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly state what you have learned, suggest how the company would benefit from your transfer, and explain your desire to remain with the firm. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while you mention 'multifarious skills,' you do not provide specific examples of these skills or the tasks you have mastered. Similarly, the explanation of company benefits is quite general. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete details about your achievements and how your specific expertise would add value to a new department.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The letter follows a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a specific requirement of the task. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Also,' and 'Furthermore' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the paragraphing is not clearly defined in the layout. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'the management services should not be neglected,' which feels disconnected from the previous point about career development. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'multifarious,' 'career development,' and 'documentation.' There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'wonderfull experience' (spelling error) and 'management services should not be neglected,' which does not quite fit the context of a professional request. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations—words that naturally go together—will help you sound more professional and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'to move to different department' is missing an article, and 'that would be increase the chance' is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, 'I have ability to handle multiple task' should be 'the ability' and 'multiple tasks.' While these errors do not prevent the message from being understood, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading, particularly regarding articles, pluralization, and verb forms. Increasing the number of error-free sentences is key to improving this score.

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